From the very early days of Jesus Youth, we intentionally introduced ice-breaking sessions as a starter. My experience in the first renewal programme was the same. Frs Fio and Rufus on the stage laughing, making fun of each other and teaching us funny songs that made the whole crowd laugh. Later when we started prayer groups and organised trainings, we followed the same example. We wanted everyone to relax and be themselves, and so began even a prayer session with a time of chit-chat or a funny song.

But I noted that most people fear disorder. They want people to come on time, sit in a proper way, do everything uniformly and easily get upset when someone does not want to follow the crowd. Now in many groups ‘ice-breaking sessions’ and action songs are rigidly enforced programmes, forgetting the reasons for which they were introduced.

In my family circle there was a cousin who would get quite angry when people came late. Those were friendly gatherings and his constant harping on punctuality and order would take away all the fun and joy of relatives coming together. I would say, ‘Even if late, at least they are coming for the gathering.’ But his response would be, ‘If they come let them come on time, or else let them not come.’ Gradually, in our get-togethers if this cousin was absent all would be so happy and relaxed.

In my college classes I find it very difficult to make students come out of their mask of rigid order and be relaxed. They fear to be themselves and the frozen silence in class becomes a good way of hiding their real self. Is it a fear of the unknown, some social pressure or the over influence of people addicted to perfectionism? Whatever it may be, I challenge my students to be relaxed and informal, be talkative and argue with me. It is not easy for most of them, because at home and from their junior classes they have been told to be disciplined and in order, even at the expense of love, joy and freedom.